Beetlejuice

"Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice"

A young couple (Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis) are driving back from town one day when they crash their car and die. It takes them a while to realise though as they end up back in their house but with a new family, father (Jeffrey Jones), Step-mum (Catherine O’Hara) and Goth Daughter (Winona Ryder) moving in. As they become aware of their death they try to haunt the family in order to get them to leave but despite turning to the ‘Handbook for the Recently Deceased’ for help, they are unable to be seen. Instead they turn to a bio-exorcist called Betelgeuse, a crazed, perverted and unstable dead man who agrees to help scare the family off.

Unbelievably I’d never seen this film before having confused it in my head with Candyman, a film I saw aged about seven which caused nightmares for months. I’m so glad I’ve finally watched this bizarre comedy/horror. The film contains everything that the best Tim Burton films do; odd characters and locations, unusual and distinctive sets and darkly comic plotlines.

Rock of Ages

"This place is about to become a sea of sweat, ear-shattering music and puke"

In 1987 Sherrie (Julianne Hough) sets off from her home in Oklahoma towards L.A with dreams of rock stardom. Almost as soon as she arrives she is mugged and helped by Drew (Diego Boneta) who works at the Bourbon Room, a Sunset Strip rock club. Sherrie gets a job at the club and she and Drew begin a relationship while both dreaming of becoming singers. Meanwhile the club’s owner Dennis (Alec Baldwin) and his right hand man Lonny (Russell Brand) are struggling to keep the club open amid protests from the Mayor’s wife Patricia Whitmore (Catherine Zeta-Jones). Rock legend Stacee Jaxx (Tom Cruise) of the band Arsenal is due to perform at the club with the hopes of beginning a solo carer, if he can get his head back in the game long enough to do so.

I’d read mixed reviews before seeing this film but I’m a fan of a lot of 80s rock music, from Iron Maiden to Metallica to Blue Cheer via Motley Crue, Motorhead and Pantera. Unfortunately this is not the sort of rock music you get with Rock of Ages. Instead you end up with the likes of Bon Jovi and Journey. This is not the type of music I enjoy, especially when the lyrics are used in place of dialogue in an annoying coming of age story. This film is about as much rock n’ roll as a jam sandwich with the crusts removed.