This cinematic abomination is the story of a former
skateboarding protégé (Felicity Jones) who gave up the sport after the death of
her mother in order look after her loveable but useless father (Bill Bailey)
and has to work in a fast food restaurant to support her and her dad. She
somehow manages to wangle a job as a Chalet Girl in Austria and is thrown into a world
she just doesn’t understand. She is confronted with toffs who treat her badly
but somehow overcomes all that is put in front of her to win people round and
win the local snowboarding competition.
This film is terrible! After about four minutes I turned to
my girlfriend and said “so she wins the snowboarding competition and gets the
guy”. I received a frown in reply. The film is so stupid and obvious. It isn’t
in the slightest bit funny and is infuriating to watch. Somehow Felicity Jones
manages to get a job after insulting a woman interviewing her for another job.
Once she gets to Austria
she is confronted by cartoon rich kids and orange girls who don’t like her
because she can’t ski and doesn’t have blonde hair, Ugg boots and end every
sentence with the word ‘babe’. Also, just look at how ugly she is. I mean eww!
Gross! But wait, she’s put some make up on and suddenly WTF! She’s actually
beautiful. How did that happen?? Oh fuck off stupid film! (Sorry, a bit of
internal monologue there). This film actually made me angry.
The music is predictable and pathetic. There is
dingly-dongly piano and strings when the couple (spoiler alert) get together and
plenty of uplifting chick-flick pop during the numerous montages. The acting is
also awful with Felicity Jones the only actor who emerges with any credibility.
Bill Nighy is underused and I don’t even know what Brooke Shields is playing
at!
I can’t be bothered to go on talking about this film. All
I’ll say is it is really stupid, boring and obvious. The characters are
caricatures and painfully annoying. It tries a Tess of the D’Urbervilles type storyline and fails, BUT… Felicity
Jones is a bright spark and proves that her shot to stardom was not a fluke.
If you do have the misfortune of seeing this film, and
please try not to, make sure you leave before the credits in order to avoid the
HILARIOUS out-takes and stupid miming to the end credits song which puts to bed
any credibility the cast may have otherwise escaped with.
1/10