"There's a big, bad wolf and someone has to stop it"
Following an unconvincing swoop through a CGI Medieval
landscape we somehow arrive in what appears to be an American Medieval village
that is being ravaged by a werewolf. Our heroine, Valerie (Amanda Seyfried) is
a young woman who lives in the village. She is in love with woodcutter Peter
(Shiloh Fernandez) but has been betrothed to the son of a wealthy blacksmith called
Henry (Max Irons). Shortly after the wolf returns from a long absence and
begins to kill, a (possibly) Dutch witch hunter called Father Solomon (Gary
Oldman) rides into town inside a giant metallic elephant with a retinue of some
African fellas and a Japanese chap. Solomon tries to hunt the wolf down while
Valerie, given a red hood by her grandma, and her two love interests track the
wolf as well.
This film is just an excuse for yet another tween Twilightified
love triangle story. This effort has added fairytale elements, silly dancing
and awful music. The plot is preposterous and the dialogue feels like it’s been
lifted from half heard conversations at a Californian mall. This is by far the
worst film I’ve seen in months, possibly all year.
